which is not final

We spent several years working in Bosnia after the end of the war-1996 onwards and it gave me some of the most moving experiences of my life- uplifting and joyous as well as downright shocking and horrific.
I have been reminded of that time again with the arrest of Karadjic recently and listened to an report from the BBC's Andrew Hensen from Postichari and Szrebrenica.
He describes a woman of my age has travelled from Sweden, to visit the graves of her husband and seven year old son who were killed by the Serbs during the war. She cannot be sure how many of her other male relatives are buried there because they have not recovered complete bodies.
The sign that explains what you are seeing says that 8,372 people are buried there and then adds "which is not final"
There is something in this that I would like to look at, something here that is not the horror of the thing- and yet it is. What she expected to get out of life, and her son's life and now, she has- what???A nice red umbrella to shelter her from the drizzle as she visits their graves.

One of the awful things about death and pain and sorrow is that maybe the only thing to know is that it is incomprehensibly awful, and yet life goes on around it, beyond it, in spite of it- the clocks do not stop, the birds do not stop singing, the sun rises again, people buy coffee and sit and talk in cafes, people rent flats and practice alternative medicine.
Hmm don't know where this is going
Pause for now.

Hi everyone !

This is a bit intimidating to write in this blog ... I feel like I am officially art-collaborating here rather than bla bla-ing in my own blog(s !) and that I should try not to speak rubbish !

This project is all so fresh ... Do I have any ideas of what I would like to do ?
At that point, I think I enjoy looking around, getting to know people and their ideas/work.

But I must say that I've already got an idea of what I would like the show or the room I'd like to work for, to be like ... I'd like it to be dark with lights (Hilary ?) and all sorts of projections ... with sounds .... I'd like the audience to engage with the work as being part of it. It would be some kind of "all senses" experience that would bring you to another dimension (that's my idea of a "story"). More something of an atmosphere to experience, a space to discover with all your senses. Maybe somewhere to sit or lie down and observe ... taking time, relaxing, contemplating ...

I love this image of Eleanor's camera obscura

Eleanor, do you know that making pinhole cameras and camera obscura is one of my dreams ?
Lisa, wouldn't you see yourself moving in such an installation ? ... it reminds me of your performance with dancers+screen+coloured lights. (could you add some to that blog ?)

Is that possible to obtain images of moving people in/with a camera obscura ?
Or to get the audience in it/interacting with it ?

Here are some photos of my first trials of projection (overhead projector) onto tissue paper. I like the fact that you can see the projector itself.

And a video : the paper was moving because of the heat of the projector

Anne : this is not high technology but I love photocopying and scanning.

Well, I think that's all for today.Oh, also : I made a new entry in http://thesecrazywomen.blogspot.com/

I'm struggling

OK I'm really struggling now

We have all decided to do a practical session tonight and everyone is to come with a starting point- a handbag/ bucket full of bits and bobs and something they want to chase.

I am stumped- I feel completely confused- not afraid just
A whirl of stuff going round in my head- how do I marshal my thoughts. I try and focus on one idea- the investigation of a bucket of water- thinking about women who have just that bucket of water and make it last- do all that you need water to do in a day.
Then that doesn't feel very open...

Then I think about "Life Expectancy"- the idea for a show about what we thought life was going to hand us and what has happened (so essentially a show about managing disappointment and learning to celebrate) and then that sounds like middle class Western luxurious whinging.
How dare I when other women's lives area daily battle for survival, for sanity and safety.
Oh stuff maybe it has to be the bucket of water. Go for the first thought- the trivial or seemingly trivial- but open enough to let us go somewhere with it.

What will everyone else come with....crikey moses this is about the most exciting it gets- I have to remember to enjoy it!